May Eve

We’re about to move into May, which even here is the flower month, the “month of three milkings”, the blissful month.  Still so strange to me that May Day isn’t celebrated here! – not even a bank holiday.  I feel a very long way from the UK, where it’s such an embedded part of the year – but it’s a beautiful day, the flowers are coming out, and I can’t feel *too* homesick.  I slept last night with a little vial of earth from my family’s land and charcoal from all the sacred plants there around my wrist, and will again tonight.

Also, it’s our third wedding anniversary. 🙂  (One day we’ll get back to Edinburgh at the right time for the Fire Festival…)  Which complicates the doing of magical May Eve things, but all shall be arranged.  I have to clean the shit out of this place for anyone and anything that’s coming by in the night.

Walpurgis Night, Walpurgis Night,
Upon the eve of May,
We’ll merry meet, and summer greet,
For ever and a day.

Myrige Wealdburganiht!

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31 Days of Witchcraft: day 3

What kind of witch are you? 

I’d say I don’t know what this question means, but that’d be being disingenuous.  I suppose what I really mean is that I don’t know how to answer it.  I noticed that the next question’s about whether you work in a particular tradition, so I’m not going to discuss that here.

I know there’s a lot of terms for different “types” of witchcraft around these days.  I’ve never been terribly involved with the majority of the witchcraft internet, but a lot of them  have been around for a while, albeit sometimes with slightly different meanings… But I don’t know that I’d lay claim to any single term.

One term that comes close might be “hedge witch”.  When I started practising, this was being used mostly as a synonym for “cottage witch” or “country witch” (largely due to Rae Beth’s book).  Though I’m now living in the big city for the first time, my heart is still a countryman’s.  And, beyond that, there’s the other, more recently popular meaning of “hedge witch”.

I wrote this several years ago, and reposted it a couple of years back: Hedgeriding.  It talks about the hedge both as a symbol and as a concrete, living reality which I grew up and lived engaged with.  (Being in a land without real hedgerows now is very strange to me).

If I was going to reach for other terms…I am a land witch.  I am an ancestral witch, a folk witch.  A witch of soil and stone, sap and root.  The things that are in my heart: a leaf; a flame; a blade.  The Dead tell me their stories.  Old gods echo in my skin, my voice.  I am a crooked witch, physically and magically: uneven, lopsided, mismatched, bent.

I’m a witch who seeks to be whole as well as broken, broken open; who seeks to see what Is and what Can Be.  A witch who seeks to do what needs to be done.

31 Days of Witchcraft: day 2

2. How long have you been a witch?

Some twenty years, dear gods. That’s…rather alarming.

31 Days of Witchcraft: Day 1

31 Days of Witchcraft: Day 1

1. How did you discover your path?

I grew up in the Kent countryside, child of an animistic atheist from a Spiritualist family and a former Divine Light Mission super-premie, so it’s probably not surprising that I didn’t end up CoE or something!

Of course I grew up reading a lot of mythology and suchlike – I was reading about the Greek gods before I was introduced to Christianity at school – but the first time I read about witchcraft as a modern practice was some time around ’89-‘92, I can’t remember exactly.

It was in one of those ridiculous trashy books on ~the unexplained~ or whatever, which had a chapter on the Craft (which, looking back on it, was probably mostly Gardnerian Wicca) and I knew at once: that’s what I’m meant to do.  And I did.

I explored other Pagan paths in my early and mid teens – which wasn’t exactly easy to do in those days, as I was living in a highly conservative town and it was before the boom in popularity of Wicca etc.  But I always came back to the Craft, rooted in the land I’d grown up on.  I first met initiated &/ practising witches in person (though I had had some contact by letter and phone) when I was 18.

31 Days of Witchcraft: Day 1

31 Days of Witchcraft: Day 1

1. How did you discover your path?

I grew up in the Kent countryside, child of an animistic atheist from a Spiritualist family and a former Divine Light Mission super-premie, so it’s probably not surprising that I didn’t end up CoE or something!

Of course I grew up reading a lot of mythology and suchlike – I was reading about the Greek gods before I was introduced to Christianity at school – but the first time I read about witchcraft as a modern practice was some time around ’89-‘92, I can’t remember exactly.  

It was in one of those ridiculous trashy books on ~the unexplained~ or whatever, which had a chapter on the Craft (which, looking back on it, was probably mostly Gardnerian Wicca) and I knew at once: that’s what I’m meant to do.  And I did.

I explored other Pagan paths in my early and mid teens – which wasn’t exactly easy to do in those days, as I was living in a highly conservative town and it was before the boom in popularity of Wicca etc.  But I always came back to the Craft, rooted in the land I’d grown up on.  I first met initiated witches in person (though I had had some contact by letter and phone) when I was 18.

Toad.

{A write-up from March, with some parts redacted for secrecy.}

Toad is a harsh teacher.  Old Toad Woman, who is close to Croucher At The Door.

I went down to find out who was knocking on my head with the seizures.  Horse carried me, Snake protected me.  {Redacted} told me I was his.  I entered an ancient smoky roundhouse, seated men shrouded in blankets, initiation.  A giant spider crouched on my chest, filling me with horror.  I think it came from inside me, perhaps inside my brain.  I learned I am a monster, I am monstrous, and that is a source of tremendous power, magic, strength.  I rode my keppen {details redacted} and beat on the drum with it, the World Tree and Mother Drum.  This is my magic, monstrous, weird, appalling to most.  {Redacted}

There was a time when a seizure spirit hovered over my face, a great round white-and-black face.  It was a lightning spirit.  Lightning struck through me at one point.

The Toad Ointment came on me and I read for {…}.  I was in a very altered state.  Spirit communication.  Insight that reduced her to tears and shaking.  Toad is *harsh* (the poisonous skin).  Wolf was there for her, scratching on the door.

Doing work for other people like that.  Being the go-between.

Earth – stone – leaf – bone.  Earth and stone, leaf and bone.

I am a witch of earth and stone.

My power comes from the earth – the literal soil.  No wonder winters here are hard for me!

Re/turning

Well, I did my usual winter trick of vanishing off the face of the blogging earth!  I’ve done the same every winter I’ve been here (three, now) so it’s probably not surprising.  Some part of me just seems to want to brumate when there’s month after month of nothing but snow on the ground…

But now it’s finally gone (though of course it may snow again, which makes my English soul shudder this close to Beltane) and things are growing finally.  There’s green again, and I feel like my skin is drinking it in.  The cottonwood buds are dripping sap and the herons have returned.

To my grief, my familiar Pepper passed over from the physical this spring, just as the season turned.  He came to me in the first place to help me understand this land, to learn the winters.

I’m coming to accept how far away I’ve moved from one of the traditions I trained in.  I was at a weekend event in February, and nothing spoke to me.  I felt frustrated and strained, and not just because I was very sick at the time.  It’s leaving a very large part of my past behind, a community I’ve been part of for some fifteen years.

It’s painful and somewhat frightening, but it’s also letting me sink deeper into my own old magic.  My blood and bones still crave my homeland, a long painful ache, and the ancestors in the land, the Gods and powers.  It’s not easy.  But it’s spring now, and I can shed my skin like the serpent.  I’ve done it enough times before, after all.